Welcome to Trashytown!

Hello from the Trashy Mama.

Or, Hey, Y'all! if that's how you roll.

I am not trying to out-Britney Britney, nor am I embarking on a rampage with Bon Ami cleanser and a hanger or two.

But, I am willing to admit the following:

1. I don't shop at Mini Boden and don't think I can even make myself do it.

2. My toddler son does not own dressy pants or shoes.

3. Yeah, we watch TV in my house. Sometimes, not even commercial-free TV.

4. We haven't had our carpet steam cleaned in so long that my mother claims it's harboring SARS, swine flu and Legionnaire's disease. Frankly, it's pretty stainy. But hey, why bother? My kid will just fuck it up again right after we clean it! And why not, he's 2, for God's sake!

5. We eat hot dogs. Often.

6. My son thinks that "YOU GODDAMN FUCKING IDIOT! STUPID PEOPLE!" is how you greet other drivers on the road.

7. We utilize the 10-second rule. Sometimes, the 30-second rule.

8. We keep a tricycle in our living room.

9. My son owns 2 guitars already. And one's electric.

And finally,

10. I still manage to masquerade as a Nice Mommy to strangers, despite 1-9.


Well, NO MORE. I will not be ashamed of my trashy tendencies, but embrace them, as I lick the orange powdered cheese off of my fingers.

I encourage other undercover trashy mamas (or dads) to add their secret shame to my blog.