I poo in blue

"My diaper is full...full of chic. When it's number two. I look like number one."

Doesn't that Huggies Jeans commercial fucking rock the planet? I love the Europop soundtrack and the disdainful-looking miniature fashion model of a baby. He's all like, "Fuck yeah. I look cool. And you've got ELMO on your diapers, suckas."

This is my kind of advertising - shameless, ridiculous and hilarious.

Next thing you know they will come out with Huggies Leather, for the true badasses. Or maybe Huggies Speedo.

It's making me think of Huggies Thong, of course, which was one of my top fake commercials ever.

Non sequiturs

The worst thing about Pixar movies, in my opinion, is how they fuck with you out of context.

Oscar gets fixated on one movie at a time, and begins to recite lines and scenes. However, out of context, this can be confusing, particularly if you have not seen the film as often as the child has, and have no idea that a movie line is being quoted, and instead, hear these gems coming from your 3 year old like some sort of pint sized oracle.

Seriously, wouldn't it freak you out to hear your toddler say:

"I'm Picasso!"

or

"The prodigal son has returned!"

or

"I am your WIFE! I'm the greatest good you're EVER gonna get!"


You truly have not lived till you hear your three year old imitating Samuel L. Jackson.

I've gone all hippie and shit

Ok, in an effort to get my family to eat more vegetables, I have joined a CSA, and now have a farm box full of farm fresh produce every week.

Which means....





You just knew that was coming, didn't you?

Everybody's a critic

Ok, admit it, you've bought your kid a Kids Cuisine TV dinner, right, looking away from the nutritional information and mile-long ingredient list, tryng to decide if fish sticks/gummi worms/corn/mac and cheese is worse than spaghetti and "meat"balls, brownie and corn (starchfests, both of them!) Now the boxes are adorned with Shrek, which doesn't help.

I bought and served one tonight. He ate the gummi worms and two fish sticks. He's developed a taste for the organic (I KNOW) bug mac and cheese and doesn't like any other, won't eat corn, and said the fish sticks were not crunchy enough. DINNER FAIL. He did eat three pieces of cheese at the ubermarket so maybe that filled him up, but now he wants strawberry milk (I FREAKING HATE STRAWBERRY MILK).

Time for some ice cream? For Mommy, I mean...