Ok, I admit that I find the kiddie Mohawk sort of cute, in a "boy, that's cute, bet that the parents are hipper-than-thou" way. But kiddie mullets? Cruel. Just wrongity wrong wrong.
It's dooming a boy to a future full of plaid shirts with the sleeves cut off, domestic beer, Southern rock and an extensive baseball cap collection (unless, of course, he is a professional hockey player, in which case, all bets are off). Though, I suppose someone for whom a mullet is desirable haircut would aspire to these things. It's like giving your little girl a stripper name - how can they possibly move beyond it? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might as well ditch the 529 plan and start a fund for the breast implants she'll need when she turns 18. And the mullet somehow never really goes away - it just grows larger, and more menacing. When the poor kid grows up, he's already marked as a Mulleteer. And how many mullets do you see on college campuses (except for hockey players, who again get a pass).
So Aunt Trashy begs you, please, don't sacrifice your child's future. No kiddie mullets, please.
Unless he's good at hockey. In that case, the mullet is practically required.
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