Killer Boogers

No, not THAT booger.

My son's boogers. Trashy Mamas, have you ever felt judged when your kid is boogery and you are not on Super-Vigilant Booger Patrol? My son is in the throes of a summer cold and his poor nose is just streaming. Stemming that tide would require me to stand next to him, kleenex in hand, wiping continuously, for about a week.

Being a toddler, he has recently discovered the joys of wiping his nose on his sleeve. I don't encourage that (I'm not that trashy), but when he is not with me, he does what he wants. At the end of a day-care day, he might have some booger tracks on his sleeve. He gets a talking-to, but he doesn't really care. And hey, it's washable.

So, I am feeling a little judged when we go out and his nose is running, and I don't get to it right away - say we are in the grocery store and I'm getting something off the shelf. Someone invariably will comment - his grandmother, strangers in the store, whoever - "Oh, his nose is running! Don't you have any tissues?" and LEAP into action as if a split second of booger on his philtrum will have the same affect as, say, ACID. I feel like saying, you know what? It's only booger. Fending off strangers with tissues was not part of the Parenting Handbook.

My mother is particularly clucky about this. "Tsk!" she'll say, shaking her head as she wipes his nose (which takes care of the problem for exactly .68787765 seconds). The implication is that I don't wipe it, ever. I do wipe it! Over and over again! But I am not a sharpshooter! Sometimes one gets away.

I don't let him go around snotty all day, but come on, people! Boogers are not going to KILL you. I promise.