We've been Disneyfied

We're back from Disney. A week at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Well, more like the Happiest Place on Earth, Dammit...And You'd Better Enjoy It Or Else!

You need to know that there were record cold temperatures in Florida during our visit. So much for a nice warm winter vacation. No pool. Made walkng around as much fun as it is at home right now. As in, NOT FUN AT ALL.

So we were in our room most evenings, and watching The Disney Channel. See, as much as Disney wants to create their own little world, they are a bit like China. They don't want any outside influences making you think evil thoughts such as "Lets go to Universal or Nick Studios for a tour." So, in order to make sure you don't get any ideas, they only have Disney/ABC channels, except for local CBS and NBC. So, if your kid wants to watch Dora, too bad, unless you are a defiant scofflaw like me and get Dora on your laptop or ipod (Thanks, Netflix!). The Disney Police are probably still looking for me but I'm a rebel. What they have accomplished is basically an ethnic cleasning of other kids programs. They want you to watch ALL DISNEY ALL THE TIME. Which isn't so bad if the Cheetah Girls movie is on (SHUT UP) but if I have to ever, ever, see another episode of the Suite Life On Deck, I will not be held responsible for my actions.


Also, Oscar subsisted on mostly a diet of chicken nuggets and fries. Alarmingly, they were the same everywhere we went. I was thrilled to see that the Japanese restaurant in Epcot did not offer them.

Oscar did like the rides, but he was just as happy playing with his Lightning McQueen cars in the room. Even MEETING Lightning McQueen was not as fun. He was cold, you see. And young. He liked the Jedi training academy (of course) and didn't like Stitch.

Speaking of rides, we were getting on It's a Small World and Occar was fussy. Some woman snarked, "Does he WANT to be on this ride?" I'm all like, BITCH, PLEASE. You are in DISNEYWORLD. Did you think it was Gay Week? There are shitloads of CHILDREN here. They may fuss now and again. In fact you can bet on it. I wanted to move closer to her to fuck up her day but we were already on our way into a ride that features LOTS OF LOUD CHILDREN SINGING. Whatever, bitch.