Yum nummers

Normally, Oscar eats typical toddlerchow - nuggets, fish sticks, hot dogs, turkey burgers, pasta. He won't eat a vegetable that isn't a potato, though he will condescend to gnaw a baby carrot every once in a while, and I did get him to eat brussels sprouts by napping them in lots of cheesy saucy goodness. Like his mother, he'll eat anything if it's covered in cheese.

The problem is, he usually won't eat meat. That is, actual meat. If he is given a piece of chicken he will chew and chew and chew and eventually spit it out. Since he evidently considers the entire world to be his napkin, he just spits the food out wherever it's most convenient - the table, my hand, the floor, his plate.

(This reminds me that when I was a kid, I used to like Oscar Mayer bologna, but only the edges of the slice and one bite out of the middle. My great-aunt used to buy it for me when I was at her house. I'd eat the edges and bite a hole in the middle and I'd hide the rest under the divan in her living room. Her cleaning lady, Stella, would find it days later. I found out later that my dad used to hide the fat from his bacon in her bookcase when he was a kid, so I clearly come by this genetically. But I digress.)

This is further complicated by the fact that Oscar would prefer to eat at the coffee table in front of the TV, and we do eat there, way too often. So he spills lots of food. I've resorted to a drop cloth under his chair, which is also great for catching random potty-training accidents.

He does like some odd things - guacamole, salsa-flavored Sun Chips, dried mangoes (hmmm. is there a Mexican theme here?). He has eaten Indian food on several occasions. He will sometimes eat rotisserie chicken. On the other hand, he only mildly likes mac and cheese and much prefers fettucine alfredo (I know. Same thing. He's convinced it's not.) But if left to his own devices, he'd eat cheddar goldfish, SpongeBob SquarePants shaped Cheez-its (yes, they make them), popcorn, Pirate's Booty, and chocolate milk for every meal.

I think I'll invent some universal toddlerchow that tastes like mac and cheese and nuggets and hot dogs, that can be consumed from a bowl in front of the TV and doesn't stain the carpet when dropped. How's that sound? Like every mother's dream?